reflecting

Ok, so it's like 1:15am and i have a 9:00 class tomorrow. I should be getting some sleep, but i feel like being relfective before doing so. You don't realize it when it's happening, but if you take a step back and look from the outside at yourself, it's a little scary to see how much other people influence how you think, what you think and how you act. I'm not saying that we're all just a bunch of people being influenced by one another, we do have our own view points and personalities. It's just that sometimes what we have gets tweaked a little here and there and although sometimes it makes you a better person, there's the other side to it too; the side of it where other people take you away from who you were/are. The even scarier thing is that you start thinking and believing that that's who you really are and that you're just finally coming to grips with it. But seriously...what percentage of 18-20 year olds really know who they are right now at this point in life? I'd even go as far to say i'd bet on it that it's a very low percentage...like 10-18%? I think about my self sometimes and wonder. Am I who I really am, or have i not realized my full potential yet? I don't know whether i'm a closet introvert that's trying to make my life happier by pushing myself to be more outgoing than i would usually be; or if I am a closet extrovert that's putting up a less outgoing front because i'm afraid people won't like me. The mind is a very scary place...there's just so much we don't know about how it all works up there, and i know we never will. I just hope i'm doing the right thing by having hope in those that really matter to me.