Where I'm Going, Where I'm At, Where I Wish to be

Friday, March 17, 2006

little food for thought

I find it kind of interesting how some poeple can think completely opposite to what you do. For example, i just read a friend's profile about how they believe they aren't supposed to do what they want or what they feel, but instead do what's right. In addition they said that "listen to your heart" is only a line in a song or movie, not something to be followed. I disagree with all of this on some levels. Life is a balancing act. There are big ideas about what's right and wrong, but within it are exceptions. There are exceptions to everything. It's generally known that killing another human being is wrong...but then you have to take into consideration the circumstances. Like if it was in self-defense. So, maybe what one person believes is right, is wrong by someone else's standards. Maybe what you feel or want to do...is also the right thing to do. It's not always one or the other. I also believe that sometimes to do the right thing, is to listen to your heart. If there's a reason you have a brain, there's a reason why you have a heart (or feelings). Again, it's about balance, a balance between listening to your mind and listening to your heart and then making decisions and actions afterwards. If we didn't listen to our hearts sometimes, we would be nothing but machines. Think about it. Are we hard wired to do what's programmed to be correct? I don't think so. I think the reason why we say these things sometimes, about how listening to your heart is not to be done, is because we're afraid of getting hurt, or have been and now want to put a wall up. Life is about experiencing pain, love, happiness, sadness, depression, and all the emotions that make us human. That is how we learn and grow as people.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

misty

I've been feeling funny the last couple of days... I've been getting really tired by like 9:00, i keep switching from feeling happy, disappointed, satisfied, angry, annoyed, defeated, and others all in the matter of a day...well not everyday but at least every other day. I know it seems like there's more negative feelings than good...but happy sums it up. I was going to write glad, joyful, at peace...but they're just all synonyms. I hope i can figure myself out soon, because this confusion i'm feeling is just not flying well with me. Why can't there only be diversity and not adversity, Love but not hate, unity and not division among the people in the world. Is this what happens when u get older? Cuz i was definitely not warned...i wonder if it would've made a difference if i had been?

Monday, March 13, 2006

i'm sorry

From the bottom of my heart i'm really sorry for putting that previous post up, i get really impulsive when i'm upset and i realize that it is a really bad characteristic of mine. I never intend to do anything bad that i say...i guess i'm just a lil masochistic when i get upset...i'll work on it. i promise...please forgive me.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

nothing

yeah, so forget about my last semi-happy entry. I am now, in a melancholy mood again. Nothing new...my mood is just bound to be lowered sometime during the week. It just happens, and i wish it didn't but it's kind of out of my hands...well not completely, but somewhat. I don't know if having a definite emotion is better than having none at all. I'm not happy, i'm not sad, i'm not angry, i'm not anything... The best part is that i have no idea what to do about it. I've had enough of waiting and wishing with empty hopes. I realized that my optimism for somethings is worthless...w/e.

Monday, March 06, 2006

happiness

This is one of the rare occurances where i actually blog when i'm happy. It's time i did some of that. I think music is a very powerful thing, which can be bad and good at the same time. I'll focus on the good part, it helps people to: relax, let their emotions out, think, have fun, etc... Isn't that why people quote lyrics in their away messages and profiles? Music makes me happy most of the time. It definitely helps me relax...but also think about stuff. No one has a perfect life, even though you think they do, b/c inside they could just be a wreck and be putting up a really good front. It's the good friends we have that make life less crazy and help us through things. Even though sometimes things can ruin my mood with a snap, i can just try and be optimistic. I can't change the entire world, i can't make people more open minded, but i am in somewhat control of myself...and all i can do is do what i think is right and change myself for the better. Hopefully that will impact those around me positively. I know i can be somewhat depressed at times and think about insane things...but don't we all? There's always someone who's got it worse off than you, so live your life for the betterment of humanity, for yourself, for your family and for the people you care about most. Life's too complicated to think you got it all down, or that you know what's instore for you...nothing is promised...NOTHING. Even though you think it is...it really isn't and that's how life works. It's amazing how a good conversation can make you feel, or just the loving words of someone you care about. Well that's all for now...hope this optimism lasts me for a little bit.